Insomnia
by ShadowBloodNinja
Summary: An accident has caused me to switch between two worlds whenever I sleep: my world, a world of my own pain and normal humans and the Narutoverse, a dangerous reality that I know the future of. Kidnapped by a group of criminals I have two choices: selfishly help my favorite characters or save the world. I'm a pretty selfish person, you know. Insomnia Reborn (Insomnia Rewrite)
1. And Thus It Began

**_Insomnia_**

 _Chapter 1_

 _And Thus It Began (Again)_

* * *

My name is Itami Alice Duncan and I am sixteen years old. I currently live in the suburbs of Rosehallow, a medium sized city that it located in upstate New York. I have always been an interesting person, rude and sarcastic with a violent side that comes from my dad. Things that happen around me aren't normal and they never have been, but the story I'm going to tell you revolves around what happened to me during my sixteenth year of living.

It was an average fall day when it began. I had been in a school fight where I broke a kid's nose and I was suspended from school for a week and a half, this being my second day locked in my room. My bedroom was the attic and my door was the pull down ladder. My room had a bookshelf, my bed was against a wall with a small window above it. Under the other window sat my desk that was cluttered with various papers and books. A few knives were scattered across my room and a pair of brass knuckles were perched on the bookshelf. I was a weapon collector you see, I had a fixation that my friend's remarked as being caused by my sadistic nature.

I wasn't a sadist despite the fact I got into more fights than I could remember and I had an assortment of every weapon I could get my hands on. Perhaps I was a masochist, but more on that later.

"Itami!" my mom called for me and I ignored the call in favor of sitting on my bed curled up with my laptop. She wasn't deterred by my lack of a response and she pulled down the ladder to peer up into the attic at me, "Get dressed."

"I'm not naked." I replied automatically.

My mom sighed, "You know what I mean. We're driving to your grandmother's and she wants you to visit since she hasn't seen you since Easter."

I pulled my earbuds out and closed my laptop from it's beautiful picture of a Naruto episode full screen and halfway finished. I slowly got up and mom watched as I dragged my feet in my walk to my dresser. I got there and then made a show of going through various dark colored clothes that consisted of many tank tops and sweatshirts. This was where mom finally had enough of my tortoise speed, or perhaps just of me in general.

My mom climbed up into my attic and tossed a pair of clothes at me that she had brought with her, "I thought ahead and bought these for you." She had to return downstairs, saying she had matching shoes, but I was already staring at the clothes in disgust. You see my normal attire was black combat boots, jeans that were ripped to hell, and a sweatshirt over a tank top. This was a flowy white halter top with short fluffy sleeves and a somewhat dipping neckline. The top would reach just below my bellybutton and while I loved showing off my bellybutton piercing I couldn't wear anything that had short sleeves. The bottom of the outfit was a pink patterned skirt with white accents and when my mother returned she had a pair of simple white wedged sandals.

"How about no." I told her dryly and my mother's almond eyes narrowed at me.

"You should show your grandmother how grown up you are, she wasn't pleased with your show at Easter." That was coupled with a nasty glare from my mother. I made my way into the half finished bathroom and nearly clobbered my head on the door on my way in (I had my father's height. My mother was near my chest with her height, silly short woman).

After changing I walked out and my mother's next request came, "Take out your piercings and meet us at the car."

I made faces at her back until she was gone and then proceeded with the tedious process of pulling piercings out. You see I was a rebellious person and to couple with my attitude I had the face to match. A labret situated under my lip and a hoop decorated my nose. I had a hoop and stud on one eyebrow and a hoop on the other. My tongue was pierced and my ears were covered. My cartilage had hoops going down it while my lobe had three snug studs. I hadn't had a chance to put a bar in yet but someday I would. Similarly I was planning to shove a needle through my lip.

By the time I was done I scowled at myself in the mirror. I suppose I should tell you what I look like, yes? I was pale, a ridiculous pale that you knew was from the fact I didn't leave the house unless forced to. My brother Jack, Jackson Akira Duncan, was a shade darker than me because he actually went into the sun. My brother Chris, Christopher Akio Duncan, was tanner than both me and Jack combined. He had my mother's skin. Chris and Jack were three years older than me and fraternal twins. Chris was tan with the deep dark brown eyes of my mother and my father's brunette hair while Jack was paler with my dad's icy blue eyes but our mother's black hair. My mother was Japanese and all of us, sans my dad, were fluent in the language. None of us inherited the facial structure from her but my eye's were a bit narrower than Chris and Jack's. My eyes were cursed with heterochromia, one eye was either my dad's or perhaps my grandpa's because it was blue-gray and my other eye was a light green that I inherited from my grandma on my dad's side. My hair was black, but another genetic oddity that actually makes not the slightest bit of sense was the fact that the tips of my hair were red. Not dyed and not the ginger color that everyone refers to as red.

Fucking crayola named crimson red.

Now that you have a general physical outlook on my family we can continue to where I stepped into my dad's car. It was an old piece of junk but it worked much better than Jack and Chris's piece of shit that had the bumper nearly off and so many dents and scratches that it looked like it belonged in a scrap yard. I was squeezed into the back next to Jack who was in the middle and Chris had the other window seat.

With a quick look to my dad I knew we were in for a ride. His eyes were red rimmed and bloodshot and his temper was already steaming. My relationship with my dad was... not there. Another thing about my life that was odd was my father's hatred of me. I was a devil child, a freak of nature to him. I had scars from him getting drunk enough to actually hurt me but not many. I had more scars from something else.

"Why are you wearing that ratty sweatshirt?" my mother demanded of me when she looked at me through the car's mirror, "Take it off."

Thanks mom. And with only a single snarky comment I removed the safety blanket from my body and Jack and Chris both looked away with guilty expressions. It wasn't like they were unnoticeable, rather they drew attention to themselves. The lines that crossed my arms were permanent and a reminder that something was horribly wrong.

"Itami..." I looked away from my brothers in favor of looking out the window. We began the drive and it was silent for the first five minutes. Then my brothers, despite the obvious hangover our dad was having, opened their mouths. They began with discussing Jack's longtime crush, my friend Violet who was a year older than me and worked at the bookstore across from the game stop Jack worked at. Then they transitioned to people from school despite the fact they graduated the previous year.

This was where they got loud and this was where I watched as each sentence and laugh my dad gripped the steering wheel harder. I looked out the window and the car was slowly gaining speed. It wasn't until Jack let out one howling laugh that even hurt my ears that it happened.

"That idiot!" Jack howled and Chris snorted before he also joined Jack's laughter. This was the last straw and my dad turned in his seat and shouted at them.

"Can you fucking shut up!?"

And then mother dearest screamed, "Look out!" and we all looked forward to find a construction area ahead. My dad grabbed the wheel and in his hungover state the wheel slipped and suddenly our car was spinning. I don't know exactly what happened but we hit something and suddenly our car was rolling sideways and possibly going through the air. Our seat belts saved our lives but with the impact my head was flung sideways and into the window and the last thing I saw was a dark figure seemingly laughing at me. Then the darkness spread and I was either dead or unconscious.

* * *

It had been the latter as I woke up in the hospital with a splitting migraine and with the bright white and lights hurting my eyes. I was stuck there in agony for what felt like forever before a nurse came in and did a check up and informed the doctor and my family I was awake and alive again. Jack and Chris who were faring pretty great considering what I remembered from the accident hurried into the room. Both of them had neck injuries but nothing too serious and Jack had a decent sized bump on his head while Chris's wrist was broken. I had taken the brunt of the impact for them and my reward was bruised ribs, a serious concussion that had me unconscious for three days and a beautiful blossoming bruise that was taking over my temple.

"We're so glad you're awake!" Jack told me as he settled into one of the chairs by my bed.

"Yeah." I grunted, "How're mom and dad?"

"Dad's pretty much unharmed, he was saved by the airbag. He's a bit bruised and banged but nothing serious. Mom's the worst of all of us, she's out of critical condition but her airbag went off too late and she took the brunt of everything." Chris answered somberly. Of Jack and Chris, Chris was more responsible while Jack was more charismatic. Both had a sense of humor that bordered stupidity. While I am an absolute jerk and asshole I will say they are the most lovable of idiots and they have big hearts.

Now I don't want to bore you with the tales of me almost strangling someone with my IV, nearly getting another concussion, and me being smuggled out of the hospital after threatening to rip my IV out and strangle someone else. Nor do I want to bore you with the doctor lecturing me and telling me to watch out for side effects such as insomnia (Which I already had so fuck that), dizziness and the fact that the doctor told me that I just needed to rest and that I shouldn't read or stare at a computer screen too much (Fuck that too). So we're going to skip to the good part.

"I can't believe you tried to strangle the security guard." muttered Chris as he threw his keys on the dining room table. Jack snickered, remembering my fight for freedom.

"I can't believe they didn't put her in isolation." Jack replied. I rolled my eyes at him. I bid them goodnight and returned to my room to change out of the hospital gown. I plopped myself down on my bed and pulled my laptop to me.

Downstairs the door opened and slammed shut seconds later and I heard drunken yelling. With a frown on my face I put my earbuds in and picked up where I had left off in Naruto. One good thing about being half Japanese and knowing the language was fuck those subtitles. Anyway, three episodes later I was beginning to doze off and as my eyes slowly shut I lost view of the green forest and battle.

Not to worry though because what felt like a blink later my eyes were open and above me was a canopy of trees and a vast blue sky. I sat up quickly, ready to shout at my brothers for carrying me out of the house in my sleep, but lost my words when I realized I had no idea where I was. I wasn't outside my house like I assumed and there wasn't a trace of anyone around me.

"Jack?!" I yelled, "Chris!?"

No response and I stood up. I looked down at myself and found myself in pajamas that consisted of my sweatshirt, a large t-shirt and a pair of basketball shorts I stole from Jack. Looking back at my environment the trees were larger than any trees I had ever seen in my life and the trunks were as wide as three refrigerators in a group. Shitty explanation, I know, but that's about the best explanation that I could possibly give.

Now, shock set in after a minute of standing and looking around and with that shock I started to breathe heavy. Worry for where I was and what happened started to fill my head and then I started to jog forward. Jogging got me nowhere as everything looked the same and the roots of the trees were gnarly and a few times I had to make a left or right because there was a root that was too tall for me to jump over without having to climb. The trees seemed to only increase in size and slowly the sky was disappearing at the tree's canopies started to take over the sky.

Then, I found a person.

Long blonde hair was what I caught out of the corner of my eye and, relief setting in my heart, I turned to call out to the woman. Then I learned two things. That wasn't a woman and he was very familiar to me. Eerily familiar even. A single blue eye met my eyes and my brain registered the fact this man was wearing a heavy black cloak (As I thought about it, it was late October why was it ungodly hot?) that had familiar red clouds that were outlined in white.

Oh my god.

I stumbled backwards and knocked into something. I prayed it was a tree but I knew it definitely wasn't a tree due to the creaking that sounded behind me. I dove forward and started into a sprint that a track team member would be proud of. This got me nowhere, my hair suddenly was caught by something and I was dragged back with my poor neck being wretched the wrong way.

"Black and red hair, blue and green eyes, she fits our target's description, un." a familiar voice said in fluent Japanese. I nearly hyperventilated but pulled my shit together for a good two minutes before I saw the second person. Well, person is a loose term. That same cloud patterned cloak covered a round hunched figure with odd hair and a dark fabric covering the bottom half of it's face.

I had to grab at my chest to try and calm myself. A gritty voice came from the round humanoid thing, "She fits the description yes, but is she Fukusei Imati?"

My head was shaken as the blonde asked, "Are you Fukusei Imati?"

"Nooo." I gasped while moving one hand to my head as my hair was pulled even more.

"How many women could look like this?" the blonde asked, "She's got to be Fukusei Imati, yeah."

"I'm really noooooot." I nearly yowled.

"Bring her anyway, we can kill her if she's useless."

The blonde grinned at this and pulled me up from the floor by my hair. He tightly tied rope around my wrists and tossed me over his shoulder with a pleased expression. I grunted when my stomach was harshly jammed into his boney shoulder and the short humanoid piped up, "Gag her."

"She's already over my shoulder, Danna."

"I don't care. Gag her." the humanoid thing growled. The blonde ignored him and started walking. Despite not being gagged I didn't scream or say anything. I kept quiet as they continued to walk in silence until they came to a clearing where the blonde tossed two small clay birds onto the ground. They grew to the size of a horse and the blonde tossed me onto one while the humanoid took the other bird. The blonde jumped up next to me.

As the birds took off into the air the blonde smiled down at me, "If you struggle and fall off I'm not saving you, un."

I knew I was in deep shit minutes later when I caught sight of the hands of the blonde. Two lines crossed each of his palms and at first glance one would assum they were scars. But then the lines opened and I saw a tongue and teeth poke out. My face no doubt paled and I looked up to catch the sky blue eyes of the blonde. The wind was pushing his hair behind him and I found an odd mechanical piece over one of his eyes and his headband held a metal plate with a line crossed through a picture.

No doubt about it.

I was somehow impossibly in the world of Naruto.

It wasn't a dream, I had felt pain.

I really was fucking in the Narutoverse.

Shit man, the doctor could have warned me about this side effect.

* * *

 **AN**

 **I SHOULDN'T BE DOING THIS. I don't have the time for this. But, Insomnia was my first baby. Itami was my first baby who was a Mary Sue. It's time to evolve Itami and Insomnia into real goodness.**

 **Basically this is Insomnia rewritten however now I am going to make actual sense. Woo! This is going to be** _updated RANDOMLY_ **and it will not be following Insomnia 100 percent. The story is basically the same however a few moments made zero sense and this is going to fix all that. My goal is to take the cliche mashup of OOCness and Mary Sueness that was Insomnia and make it come alive again. This is Insomnia:Reborn. No but it's keeping the name Insomnia and shit and the old one will not be taken down since I don't have the old documents for it anymore and I'd miss it.**

 **Enjoy this trip if you are new to Insomnia and for those who are coming back, enjoy the new moments and have the nostalgia I am experiencing.**


	2. A Dream? Or Nightmare

**_Insomnia_**

 _Chapter 2_

 _A Dream? Or Nightmare_

* * *

I don't know where to start other than a quick rant. You know those stories that you find on fanfiction about girls who find themselves in Naruto or how they find the Akatsuki as cats? Yes, you do know what I'm talking about. I know you know. And how in said fanfictions the girls are treated pretty decently? From my personal experience I'm going to say that is a loud of complete and utter bullshit. My experience with the, at that moment in time, unnamed but assumed Deidara and Sasori, was awful.

The clay birds brought us a long distance from where I first woke up. We passed several different types of forests with more ridiculous trees and landscapes. While I call the landscapes ridiculous they were actually breath taking. I was used to ugly polluted skies and tall buildings. What I did see of vegetation was usually filled with litter or garbage that humans threw away. But this... this was pure. The air was clean and there was such a stretch of land that looked like it wasn't touched by humans. It was one of those photoshopped post card pictures but it wasn't. This was reality.

When the birds touched down it was at the base of a rocky, mountainous terrain at the edge of more woodlands. I was tossed off the bird and my legs collapsed beneath me. I was sore from sitting and my wrists were itchy and chaffing from the rope.

"Blindfold her." the assumed Sasori ordered and Deidara did so with a, "Good idea Danna, yeah."

My vision was cut off as they blindfolded me and I was lifted up onto Deidara's bony-ass shoulder and carried. At first warm air hit me but then after what felt like going down steps cool air hit my open skin. It was about a two minute walk to our destination and then I was dumped onto hard floor.

"Is this Fukusei Imati?" a woman's voice asked.

"She fit the description, un. How many women can look like that?"

My blind fold was ripped off and I found myself looking at a beautiful woman with pale skin, short blue hair and vivid amber eyes. A labret was situated under her full lips and lavender eye shadow a bit more purple than her hair was painted onto her eye lids.

Konan.

Konan's eyes narrowed at me and she looked at Deidara and Sasori, "This is not Fukusei Imati."

Deidara's visible eye widened and Sasori sounded annoyed as he replied, "Seeing a picture would not have wasted our time."

"What are we going to do with her now?" Deidara was the one who asked this very important question. Three pairs of eyes turned to me. I was worried. These three were super powered criminals who wouldn't give a fuck about killing me. I wasn't anything special to them.

"Do you know of Fukusei Imati? Are you related?" Konan's eyes were cold but distant. She was apathetic to my situation.

I shook my head, "No, I've never heard the name." Hopefully they would let me go. This seemed highly unlikely but a girl can dream.

"What were you doing in the middle of nowhere then, hm?" Deidara asked, "There were no civilian villages for kilometers. We didn't even sense you-" Deidara paused.

Konan, hearing something in his words, regarded me with a new look. All three seemed to stare at me intently before Konan said, "Put her in a cell. When Itachi returns he'll look at her."

Wait. What?

I looked between them, "What are you going to do with me-"

Deidara sneered at me, "Whatever we want, yeah."

Deidara lifted me by my hair and forced me out of the room. I was roughly led down a hallway with wooden panel flooring and walls that were entirely solid rock. Not even concrete, it was like the side of a cliff or a boulder. Deidara nearly pushed me down a set of stairs and actually did _toss_ me into a cell. After removing my bindings Deidara locked the cell and dangled the keys tauntingly before pocketing them and heading towards the door. He paused for a moment and looked over his shoulder at me.

"Hey, girl." I narrowed my eyes at him, "If you aren't Fukusei Imati, who are you, yeah?"

I debated not answering him. But this was a criminal who would enjoy beating the shit out of me. So I held my tongue and answered placidly, "Itami."

Deidara processed this for a moment and regarded me with trained eyes. He was looking for lies, I realized.

"Well, _Itami_." my name rolled off his tongue. My name was ironic, meaning pain in Japanese. I asked my mom once why she named me that. She couldn't answer me. No doubt Deidara was questioning my name, "You're ours now. Whatever we decide to do with you. Things aren't looking up for you, yeah. Shitty luck that you were there." And then Deidara turned and was gone up the stairs.

I sat on the floor of my cell and wrapped my arms around my knees. Finally alone I was allowed to fully think things through. First, I found there was no way out. These cells were made to hold ninja and I was the furthest thing from a ninja. I was not getting out of this cell unless I had a key. Second, even if I did get out I would have no idea where I was going. Their base was probably huge and if I was caught by anyone I would be dead. Even if I got out from whatever crazy method then I still wouldn't know where to go. I would probably die in the wilderness. Even if I made it to a town I had no background or money. My clothes were strange and a bit foreign. Not to mention if all went right and I survived past all that there was a ninja war coming.

Next topic of thought. How the fuck did I get here?

I didn't meet some crazy person with some magical powers nor did some seer tell me I was gonna do something great. I didn't contact some greater deity or even step through some kind of portal... thing. I went to sleep. I fucking went to sleep and woke up a whole nother world away.

I spent what was probably hours in the cell. Eventually my thoughts stopped entertaining me and they started to wander to darker things. What would happen to me?

But that isn't significant enough to mention my entire thought train. What is significant is that eventually I started to get lulled to sleep. I was exhausted from thinking and just the entire situation was mentally taxing. My eyes closed and darkness overcame me.

For a second, that is.

My eyes opened and I found my reflection staring at me from my laptop. I bolted upright and wildly looked around my room. My room. I was home, I wasn't in that dank cell. I choked down a relieved laugh and dropped back down onto my pillow. My heart was racing but that would stop in a few minutes.

It had been a dream.

I had gotten worked up over a dream. Laughable, isn't it? Ugh, I'm better than that. But whatever, it had been realistic and a bit terrifying.

I noticed it when I went to change. My wrists were red and raw; chafed. I stared at them for a few seconds to register what I was seeing.

"Oh my fuck..." I whispered before shaking my head, "No, no that was just a dream. It had to have been. My laptop did this. Serves me right, falling asleep like I did."

I changed into jeans, a tank top and my sweatshirt again. After I left the bathroom I watched my phone light up on my desk. Looking at it revealed I had several text messages over the past ten minutes from my best friend. My best friend was a bright girl named Skye. Skye was average with hazel eyes, short wavy brunette hair and peachy skin. She was a cheerful artist who wore bright tank tops, shorts, and had a pair of knee high converse in every color. Shorts and tank tops aren't nice in the winter so add a gray sweatshirt and a pair of neon tights to any outfit for a complete look. Not to worry, Skye sounds insane but she's balanced by her boyfriend, Josh. Josh was an athlete who starred in basketball even though he was slightly pudgy and a bit short. Josh had dark eyes and hair with a shovel-face jawline. I know I sound awful describing my friends like I am but I am an honest person. Well. That's debatable.

Skye, who demanded to be answered immediately, started to call when I didn't answer her texts after a moment of reading through them. I answered it and Skye's dry yet bubbly and slightly whiny voice crackled through when I put it on speaker, "Itaaaaami! How are you? You're out of the hospital right? Sorry I didn't visit-"

Skye was cut off by Josh yelling over her, "I wasn't letting her in an ICU! Or whatever the area you were in."

"I'm not that bad." Skye retorted, no doubt pouting, "But anyway. Glad you're alive. We saw pictures of your car wreck on the news. That was brutal."

"Oh yeah, I wanna see that shit." I said as I opened up my computer. A quick google search of the date and news showed me the report on the accident. Yeah, there was a reason why my dad's car was gone now and only Jack and Chris's heap of rolling junk remained in our driveway.

"Can't believe you got out of that as easy as you did. What about your family?" Josh sounded closer now. He must have stolen Skye's phone.

I closed the tab after examining the wreck a bit, "Mom's in the hospital. Asshole's fine. Brothers are fine."

"You should like you care." drawled Josh.

"No one's dead so why should I care?" I countered. There was a disgruntled noise that Josh made in the back of his throat but Skye took the phone before he could say anything else.

"Hey hey, we should do something today. Just the three of us." Skye begged.

I paused, "We aren't inviting Violet or Kira?"

"They're more your friends than mine and I want it to just be my two favorite people in the world today, yeah?" Skye's voice throughout that sentence continued to get even more whinier and finally, I couldn't handle it. Skye's voice was honestly terribly obnoxious and I've choked her before because of it.

"Fine, but we're getting frozen yogurt and you're paying." I grumbled. Skye yayed and squeaked, "Josh is paying!" Josh gave another disgruntled throat noise.

The day went by with nothing too interesting happening. I got free frozen yogurt with the only cost being having to walk through crowds of people and sunlight. When I got home I made dinner that had Jack and Chris migrate into the kitchen from their respective rooms.

"C'mon Taaaaami. Eaaat with us." Jack whined as I made my plate and started towards the door. Chris shared similar sentiments with a mouth full of chicken.

"Ha, no." I threw over my shoulder.

Back in my room I ate dinner and took one of my knives and stuck it through the makeshift lock on my trapdoor. The lock was broken off but Chris knew how to use the hardware tools to make a better lock that just required me slipping something through it on the trapdoor end and the floor end. I used a knife because that was the strongest flat object I had.

You may wonder why I was locking it. Well, I'll explain.

When I say my dad and I have a bad relationship, I mean we are enemies. We are on the opposite sides of a war and the goal is to kill the other. Or, I suppose not kill. Maim is a better word. Scar after scar we paint each other because certainly he starts something and certainly I fight back. It's unnatural that we fight like that but it's how things work in our house. Pain is nothing new. But letting my guard down while I sleep, especially during a time like this, is just asking for something to hurt me. My mom is in the hospital and there isn't anything keeping him from drinking himself into oblivion.

With my trapdoor locked I changed into pajamas and went through the nightly ritual of taking piercings from my face. Finally I laid down to sleep and stared at the ceiling expecting my insomnia to fight me. But it didn't and darkness wrapped me in it's sweet embrace. Then I opened my eyes.

Dark concrete met my eyes and I sat up quickly. I was back in my cell and I quickly jabbed a nail into my leg. The pain came and internally I swore to myself. Fuck. I was back. And the pain was telling me this wasn't a dream and I wasn't going to believe in coincidence. There was absolutely no way my dream was continuing for a second night. I brought my knees to my chest and watched as the shadows on the walls danced with the candle light. Eventually after what must have been hours of waiting there was the creak of a door in the silence.

Footsteps came down the stairs and bright yellow blonde hair announced the entrance of Deidara. Deidara carried a small tray that he set on the table outside my cell. He grinned at me, "Food time, yeah."

I didn't say anything in response. Deidara took the keys with one hand and unlocked my cell. He swung the door open and told me, "Don't even try running or fighting. We both know you can't do shit, un."

I took the advice because that was entirely true. He slid the food on the ground to me and I leaned over my knees to look at it. The tray didn't have any utensils and the bowls were wooden. One bowl had rice and the other had miso soup with chunks of tofu floating in it.

"You're eating pretty good for a prisoner so take advantage." Deidara advised as he leaned against the wall outside the cell. I looked between him and the food before I picked up the soup and brought it up to my face. I smelled the soup and Deidara, watching this, gained an even wider grin than before. I swirled the soup around and decided that it wouldn't kill me. Probably. So I drank it. The rice I gave a similar treatment. Both tasted bland and I assumed I had old leftovers that they found in the fridge.

"That was smart, yeah. Checking it. You're not worth us killing like that though. We could just as easily slice your throat." Deidara was attempting to unnerve me. But I didn't let it get to me. I stared at him through the bars and we engaged in a contest of will. Neither of us wanted to lose to the other but eventually I won as Deidara sighed and looked up at the ceiling. That was a mental victory for myself.

"So you don't know Fukusei Imati?" Deidara asked, "You really don't, hm?"

I shook my head, "Never heard the name before."

"Is there any worth to keeping you alive, then?" Deidara continued.

I thought about how I knew the Naruto plot. Would that be useful information to barter? But that could be a double edged sword. Tobito killing me for my knowledge, them torturing it out of me... What could I possibly offer?

I chuckled to myself as a thought came to me. Deidara rose an eyebrow and I snickered to myself. With my own grin I offered, "Well, I can cook. Cook a lot better than the shit that meal was anyway."

I was honestly surprised when Deidara actually looked interested. Deidara looked like he was weighing the pros and cons of actually taking that offer and I wondered why he was actually considering it. This was an S rated ninja killer criminal so why was this even a thing?

"Can you clean?" questioned Deidara a few moments later. I slowly nodded and Deidara again seemed to think heavily. Then he stood up, "I'm going to go see what I can do, un. No one in this damn place can make a decent meal beside the Uchiha bastard and some of the room's stink. We could use a slave to abuse, yeah."

"Wait what." my mouth dropped and Deidara completely ignored me as he walked up the stairs. Then I realized something. The blonde had left my cell door unlocked.

Dumb blonde.

I shuffled to my cell door and pushed it to check if it really was unlocked. It swung open and I blinked.

"You're shitting me." I said. I looked around to see if I was being watched and I got to my feet and exited my cell. I actually almost regretted leaving my cell. There were three cells total and an open doorway that led to a bloody room. When I say bloody I mean I am ninety-nine percent sure that was the torture chamber. Now, as crazy as I am, at that point in time I was not crazy enough to go anywhere near that room.

Now, remember my earlier argument? Where I was listing the reasons I was going to die? Yeah. With that train of thought coming back to haunt me I actually got back in my cell and closed the door. Now, hear me out before you wonder why I would do that when I could make a run for it. That run for it would most likely end up with me being caught and killed. Or killed by something entirely unrelated if I did escape. Besides, as stupid as it was that Deidara was considering keeping me as a slave. That would have much more opportunity than leaving the cell.

And this decision is what kept me alive.

Deidara returned what I would estimate as ten minutes later and grinned at me through the bars of the cell door, "You're either smart or stupid, yeah."

"Excuse me?" I asked, somewhat dumbly.

Deidara swung open the door, "You definitely noticed this was unlocked. Why didn't you try to run, hm?"

Oh. _Oh._ Shit I was actually right in staying in the fucking cell. I cleared my throat to stop what was going to be a cross between a nervous and a crazy chuckle, "Well, I'm not exactly a ninja. So escaping probably wasn't happening."

Deidara nodded, "Well, you passed my test, yeah. Looks like you're the Akatsukis' new slave."

Deidara pulled me out of the cell and pushed me up the stairs while ranting-I'm sorry, explaining, "You can't escape. You don't know how to get out of the base nor where the entrance is, un. We'll kill you if you do anything stupid. You'll be responsible for making food and cleaning. If you don't do your jobs, well, you'll find out, yeah. Anything to add, slave?"

One day I think my sarcasm will kill me but not today, "Yes. I prefer the term maid."

Deidara laughed, "Too bad we don't have a maid costume, un."

Fuck. He got the last word.

* * *

 **AN**

 **Fun Fact \- I was sitting there rereading insomnia while going "Why would they go like, miles to find just a maid? Why not just take someone from the nearest town?" So, more plot! Fukusei Imati was actually a character in the previous Insomnia. However I've changed her name. Her name previously was Fukusei, and now Fukusei is her clan name. **

**I'm trying to make Itami make logical decisions. She isn't friends with the Akatsuki yet, nor has she gotten anyones name. Of course there are also ulterior motives at play from the Akatsuki Itami doesn't see yet.**

 **Thanks to the following for reviewing:**

 **wayward-winchesterss  
Be-Mindful  
IIBlueFoxBlazinII  
Kuroyuki no Ryu  
Akatsuki Wolf Rider  
takininja13**


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